Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and anyone who is currently in love, married, just starting a relationship, you must be scrambling to figure out a gift for your loved one. Whether you’re single or taken, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate the love around you no matter what form it takes.
Welcome back to #wabisabiwednesdays. Today I want to discuss intimacy within relationships and how simple pleasures and gestures can reawaken or reignite a spark that was once thought lost. Let me introduce to you a love language. A love language is a way in which we can communicate intimacy between us and someone we love. The 5 love languages are as such - Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch—each express intimacy in unique ways. Understanding these can deepen emotional and physical closeness in any relationship.
Intimacy is often explored within the early stages of any relationship and friendship, and is generalised as something that fizzles out after quite some time when the big picture hits us, our head gets caught up in work issues, life problems, and the rigour of hustle culture. Success is not something you do once in a while but instead, something you do consistently. That same principle can be applied to relationships. Love isnt so much about even celebrating one another only on Feburary 14th but instead enforcing these languages consistently to ensure your partner and you both feel loved.
An important step before we explore the 5 love languages is first communicating with your partner on how they want to be loved. Creating intimacy looks different to everyone, some people prefer more quality time, some people prefer to be pampered with gifts. It is also imperative to remember that the way in which someone wants to be loved may not match how you want to be loved. Before anything, transparency first.
Here are the 5 love languages explored.
1. Words of Affirmation
What it is: Expressing love and appreciation through words—compliments, encouragement, and verbal affirmations.
How to:
Say “I love you” often.
Compliment your partner on their looks, efforts, or achievements.
Leave sweet notes or send thoughtful texts.
Express gratitude (“I really appreciate how you always support me”).
Encourage them when they’re feeling down.
How it creates intimacy: Intimacy grows when partners feel seen, valued, and appreciated through words. Verbal expressions of love and encouragement create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. Compliments and affirmations help reduce insecurities, making partners feel cherished and respected.
Example: Saying “I love how passionate you are about your dreams” fosters emotional closeness and mutual admiration.
2. Acts of Service
What it is: Showing love through actions—helping with tasks, doing thoughtful things to ease your partner’s burden.
How to:
Cook them a meal when they’re tired.
Help with chores without being asked.
Run errands for them when they’re busy.
Do small things that make their life easier, like making them coffee in the morning.
Follow through on promises and commitments.
How it creates intimacy: Intimacy is built through actions that show care, reliability, and thoughtfulness.
When one partner consistently helps without being asked, it strengthens the bond by demonstrating that love is more than just words—it’s commitment in action. This love language reassures partners that they can rely on each other, which deepens emotional and practical intimacy.
Example: Making your partner tea when they’re stressed shows you’re paying attention to their needs, strengthening connection.
3. Receiving Gifts
What it is: Feeling loved through thoughtful, meaningful gifts that show you were thinking of them.
How to:
Surprise them with their favorite snack or flowers.
Buy something meaningful, even if small, that reminds you of them.
Give personalized gifts that show you know them well.
Celebrate special occasions with thoughtful presents.
Leave little surprise gifts or notes in their bag or around the house.
How it creates intimacy: Gifts act as physical symbols of love, reinforcing shared memories and emotional depth. It’s not about materialism but the thought and effort behind the gift, proving that one partner truly understands the other’s desires, values, and emotions. Receiving a meaningful gift evokes feelings of being cherished and understood, strengthening intimacy.
Example: Gifting a handwritten letter or a book they’ve been wanting shows deep emotional awareness and appreciation.
4. Quality Time
What it is: Feeling valued when your partner gives you undivided attention and spends meaningful time with you.
How to:
Plan date nights or fun activities together.
Put your phone away and actively listen when they talk.
Have deep, uninterrupted conversations.
Do something they love, even if it’s not your usual thing.
Create routines like morning coffee together or an evening walk.
How it creates intimacy: Intimacy is strengthened through undivided attention and shared experiences, allowing partners to deeply connect beyond surface-level interactions. Quality time fosters emotional attunement, where both partners truly listen, engage, and appreciate each other’s company. Creating meaningful moments together builds lasting memories, reinforcing a sense of closeness.
Example: Sitting together without distractions, talking about dreams and fears, fosters an emotionally intimate bond.
5. Physical Touch
What it is: Expressing love through physical connection—hugs, kisses, cuddling, or even simple gestures like holding hands.
How to:
Hold hands when walking together.
Hug and kiss them regularly.
Give random affectionate touches like playing with their hair or a gentle shoulder rub.
Cuddle while watching movies or before bed.
Be physically present when they need comfort.
How it creates intimacy: Touch releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), deepening physical and emotional intimacy.
It provides nonverbal reassurance and a sense of security, helping partners feel emotionally and physically connected.
Small touches, like holding hands or hugging, foster a sense of warmth, safety, and closeness.
Example: A reassuring hug after a tough day builds trust and emotional support, strengthening the relationship’s foundation.
By: Ranya I.
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