
Hi there! Welcome back to #wabisabiwednesdays!
Today, I want to talk about community, and how to build better relationships for ourselves.
The human need for community stems from our evolutionary ways. Human survival depended on group cooperation for protection, resources, and reproduction, reinforcing our reliance on connection. Humans have an innate need to belong, rooted in biology, psychology, and social structures. Psychologically, strong social bonds enhance well-being, reducing stress and loneliness while fostering identity and self-worth. Communities provide purpose, support, and a framework for shared values, driving both personal fulfillment and societal progress.
We as individuals crave human connections daily because it is in who we are and how we relate to others where we can truly find out who we are as humans. I am a strong believer that our relationships are mirrors of our inner selves, each bond reflecting a part of us that should be celebrated or healed.
The theme of hyper-independence is a recurring one when it comes to today’s societal climate and how people relate to each other. Hyper independence is defined by a behavioral pattern where someone feels the need to complete tasks and make decisions without help, even when it's necessary. Many people develop hyper-independence as a defense mechanism after experiencing neglect, betrayal, or a lack of reliable support in childhood or past relationships. When trust in others is repeatedly broken, self-reliance becomes a survival strategy, creating the belief that depending on others leads to disappointment or vulnerability.
Culturally, hyper-independence is often reinforced by messages that equate self-sufficiency with strength and dependency with weakness, particularly in Western societies that prioritize individualism. Capitalism and hustle culture further glorify independence, pushing people to handle everything alone in pursuit of success. Cultivating healthy relationships and strong communities in an era of hyper-independence and toxicity requires intentional effort, vulnerability, and mutual respect. It starts with self-awareness—understanding our own emotional barriers and conditioning around trust and dependence.
Actively practicing open communication, empathy, and emotional intelligence helps foster deeper connections. Setting healthy boundaries ensures relationships are built on mutual respect rather than obligation or codependency. In communities, prioritizing kindness, inclusivity, and collective well-being over individual gain can counter toxic competition and isolation. Encouraging interdependence—where people support each other without sacrificing autonomy—creates spaces where trust, authenticity, and meaningful relationships thrive.
How can we truly build inter dependence and a stronger community around ourselves?
Ironically, the first step to this is to take time to understand yourself. Understand your needs, what makes you feel supported, the values in which you uphold and truly cherish. Get really clear on this as this is what will be your guiding force towards understanding if people are truly right for you or not.
Observe and identify your triggers in relationships. Are you someone who runs away from confrontation? Or do you have a hard time giving people space, and feel anxious when someone takes a while to respond to you? Do you only feel worthy with many people around you? Or do you love your alone time a little too much and find it hard to be intimate even with your closest friends?
Do a community audit. “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with” is a quote by motivational speaker Jim Rohn. Do you like the people around you? Or do you feel disconnected from them? Is it time you let go of certain people? You have to understand, there are people out there who truly want to meet you, but the version of you that needs to call them in is not the one who ignores their needs but really treasures and respects them. Start learning how to set boundaries with people who deserve less of your time, in order to create space for those you truly want to be surrounded with.
Become the people you want to meet. I STAND BY THIS. Like attracts like. Release expectations, and put yourself in the path to success. A healthy person with strong boundaries, who has a great morning routine, and wakes up early and goes to the beach will not be attracted to those who do not do the same. Put yourself in places, communities, and situations whereby you are more likely to meet these people.
Community is a human need, not a hobby or a part of your life that should be ignored due to your career focus. It can be exceptionally beneficial to consider an evaluation of your relationships and how people can further support you. Remember you deserve to be able to rely on others, while striving to be the best you can be for yourself. It is the balance that truly works wonders.
By: Ranya I.
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